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Messages - Baby Thork

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Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: If Jesus had a dog
« on: February 27, 2020, 09:42:24 AM »
Oh. Turns out Jesus having a dog is a way more common thought than I had imagined.

Ok, I'm bored of this thread now.  :-\

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: If Jesus had a dog
« on: February 27, 2020, 09:32:19 AM »
It seems there is no such thing as an original thought. Someone else has had the idea of giving Jesus a dog before and made an entire film out of it.

And from a particularly harrowing part of the movie ... where I'm hoping the dog doesn't need to cock its leg.

He's a mongrel street dog and he's a good dog and he has doggy disciple friends. The dog also does have a typical Jewish name. He is called Jericho after the wrestler. 

Anyway, it got 5.3/10 on imdb.

These people pretty much wrote the story I had in mind. And then sold that idea to a studio and made millions of Canadian dollars. They should have been my maple dollars.  :'(

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: If Jesus had a dog
« on: February 27, 2020, 12:16:26 AM »
This is most definitely religion, and you don't let a good idea like this fester in CN. It needs to be preserved.

The dog preventing mass deaths is interesting. But we need lots of deaths ... this is the bible. Maybe the dog could serve as a kind of harbinger? Like the 4 men of the apocalypse. ... or maybe the dog is there to fetch the souls of men and bring them back to God. Like a dog of death. The Bible doesn't have a grim reaper. A bit of an oversight being as the Greeks and Romans had that nailed down with Sharon. Come to think of it the Greeks had Cerberus too. There aren't any dogs in the bible. Why do Jews hate dogs? Anyway ...

Maybe when Jesus gets crucified, the dog is condemned to remain on earth forever fetching souls for him ... a reaper dog. And Christians could be buried with an extra bone in their coffins as a tribute to Caleb, lest he runs off with a femur bone or something important.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: If Jesus had a dog
« on: February 26, 2020, 05:46:22 PM »
I think the dog could have arrived when Jesus was in his mid-twenties doing his miracles and parables. You know, that bit long after the 3 Wise Men, but before the Romans nail him to a tree.

Maybe Jesus is out walking one day. And he sees a man kicking his dog to death. The dog is a noble dog that only ever sought to do good, but maybe the dog gets falsely accused of eating a pie cooling on a window sill and the furious homeowner takes the dog outside and begins kicking it to death. So Jesus hears the dogs cries and walks up to the man.
"If you took a stick from your dog, would it bite you?" asks Jesus.
"No" replies the dog's owner.
"Then why do you punish the dog for taking something from you?"
At this point the man falls to his knees and cries "You are so wise. You must surely be the son of God. Please, take my dog as I do not deserve him."

Jesus kneels down next to the bleeding dog and looks up. "Father, take away the pain from this dog and unbreak its back leg". With that a sickening crunch is heard and the dog's leg is once again whole. The grateful dog vows to be loyal to Jesus and follow him everywhere. "I shall name you Caleb and you shall be the first of 13 disciples". And that was the Gospel according to dog.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / If Jesus had a dog
« on: February 26, 2020, 04:54:08 PM »
I see this as one of the great script writing blunders of all time. The bible should have depicted Jesus with a dog. Here's why.

People like dogs. Especially children. If Jesus' dog was licking the feet of lepers and pining for him by the stone rolled over the cave, I think more kids would have paid more attention. They'd have asked more questions. "But who'll feed the dog?". "Can the dog do miracles?". "Will the dog get into heaven?". "Does my dog believe in Jesus' dog?". That kind of thing.

The dog itself would have to be a humble but loyal dog. Not some yappy dog, but also not an expensive pedigree. A sensible mongrel dog. Definitely a male dog with all its bits intact, but a dog with the fortitude not to dry hump its master's leg. The Vatican could be selling doggy coprolites as relics.

The dog would need a Jewish name, nothing too fancy. Maybe Caleb the dog. And Caleb would be depicted in most of the pictures of Christ. A bit like Tintin and Snowy. So the image of Christ on the cross, there is a sad looking dog sat opposite. The loaves and the fishes, there's a happy dog eating a fish. The wedding at Cana, the dog is tied up outside. Also dog is God spelled backwards which would add more mysticism to the bible. Maybe we'd say "In the name of the father, the son and the holy dog" ... because there is no spirit. Where does this trinity come from? There is God and his son Jesus. A dog would sort that trinity issue right out. And maybe Caleb could have bitten Judas at the last supper and that could be in di Vinci's painting.

Anyway, these are the thoughts of Thork today. Feel free to imagine how Jesus' dog might have shaped Christianity if he had one.

Flat Earth Investigations / Re: If you could who would it be.
« on: February 26, 2020, 11:51:25 AM »
It was two days after my tenth birthday. 28th January 1986.
No it wasn't. It was 2 days after my 8th birthday. My maths is shocking.

Still, 1986 was a formative year I remember well from my childhood ... mostly because of Maradona.  :'(

Oh how I laughed - world's greatest goalkeeper couldn't jump and reach higher than a 20st argie potato . Happy days. Karma since has not allowed the Scottish football team to qualify for such tournaments , such is life . 
I'm ok with that. Even during the 6 nations right now I was cheering the Italians on when they played the Scottish. Anyone rather than Scotland.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Bernie 2020
« on: February 26, 2020, 09:32:55 AM »
But why do we spend so much?  Why does a normal vaginal birth with no complications cost $10,000?
Insurance. If a doctor makes a mistake, the mother or child could die, or the child could have life changing injuries.

You're not this ignorant are you, Dave? I mean, is this how Bernie gets so many Bros? Just people without any ability to put a few simple pieces together who then get mad about things they don't understand?

And your solution? Put the taxpayer on the hook for payouts instead of the PRIVATE hospitals that make the money. No liability for them. No responsibility. ... Mmmm, is this going to improve patient outcomes?

Suggestions & Concerns / Re: FOI Request
« on: February 26, 2020, 09:27:48 AM »
Which suggests the link to the store really should be from the forum menu too. Its forum users who will make purchases.

The forum menu is quite cluttered as it is. If we're going to add stuff to it, I'd like to see which options are the least used and remove those as well. I suspect "Help" is almost never clicked, but maybe I'm overestimating the competence of the average noob.
I'm guessing the 'Banlist' could actually be a sub-menu entry under 'Members'. It is about members after all. That would free a slot up for 'Store'.

Suggestions & Concerns / Re: FOI Request
« on: February 26, 2020, 12:35:59 AM »
That was far more info than i expected.

You could look at which nations are buying what if you are enjoying the graph making, but you gave us all that data already if we care enough to do it ourselves.

I didn't think we would sell anything like 600 items a year. Well go us and our little propaganda store. Very nice.  :)

Cheers for the effort Pete.

There appears to be some correlation between forum users (that is, visitors that Google thinks are distinct individuals who at some point visited the forum in that month) and merch sold.

The correlation between homepage visitors and merch is weaker, but plausibly still there, and the correlation between Wiki visitors and sold merch is weak at best.
Which suggests the link to the store really should be from the forum menu too. Its forum users who will make purchases.

Flat Earth Investigations / Re: If you could who would it be.
« on: February 26, 2020, 12:30:49 AM »
It was two days after my tenth birthday. 28th January 1986.

I was excited. Something brilliant was about to happen on TV.

I was optimistic. Excited. Captivated. I sat down in front of my huge CRT TV with my legs crossed and waited for the big event. This is what I saw.

I decided I had no interest in ever going to space after watching this. I got up, went into the garden and started kicking my football about again looking forward to the summer. This was sad, but it didn't make me cry. I was a big boy now.

However just 6 months later on 22 June 1986, a far more harrowing experience was to happen. Once again I sat down in front of our huge boxy TV. Again, I was excited, optimistic and captivated all over again. And this happened.

I cried for 3 days after that.  :'(

Cheating Argie git.  >o<

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Is God possible?
« on: February 25, 2020, 02:04:59 PM »
Very christian.
Christians expect God to intervene just before Abraham thrusts a knife into Isaac. I expect no such mercy for the children of the Glenlivet family.  >:(

Suggestions & Concerns / Re: FOI Request
« on: February 25, 2020, 02:01:49 PM »
Sure. I'll put something together when I have a moment.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Is God possible?
« on: February 25, 2020, 01:23:47 PM »

Except I've got three totally indoctrinated offspring whereas I doubt very much if you have figured how to yet.
A three step solution to climate change.

1) Hush now Jeremy. Go to sleep under the water.
2) Greta, my little girl. Stop screaming, the fire on you is helping the planet.
3) Fidel my youngest, stop wriggling under the soil. I'm composting you. Don't fight it. Daddy knows best. Remember when I told you about the dying polar bears. That is all your fault. You must help them. Lie still.

Suggestions & Concerns / FOI Request
« on: February 25, 2020, 10:15:06 AM »
The society has a shop.

That shop doesn't make any money. But still, people give money for flat earth goodies. Its a service that is provided. TFES makes no money at all from it. We all understand this.

But in the interest of transparency and general interest, how much stuff gets sold? Could TFES publish a breakdown of the purchases from the shop for 2019, please?

Also, why can't you access the store from the forum menu? That's where most people spend most of their time on this site.

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Is God possible?
« on: February 25, 2020, 09:42:20 AM »
Well the answer to the 'over populated' argument is to not have any children.

So in your house, new rabid libtards will not be created. In my house, god-fearing patriots will be churned out. In other words, it is the ultimate test of ideology as to who has the best vision of the future ... and your stupid ideas will die with you.

Flat Earth Community / Re: Death of Mike Hughes
« on: February 23, 2020, 09:21:20 PM »
I hope they do something cool with his remains, like turn his ashes into a firework or something.  :-\

Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Is God possible?
« on: February 23, 2020, 06:54:43 PM »
Why do we put ourselves above all of God's other creatures?
Because we invented religion (maybe not God, but religion). Dogs didn't. If a dog had written the Gospel according to Fido, maybe the dogs would have been made in God's image, but as it is, God and angel's look like men. And we are above all creatures because we are above all creatures. Top of the food chain. The undisputed champions of earth. Want to take me on, Mr Rhinoceros? I have a rocket launcher. No other animal comes close to us in terms of power or achievements.

How is it that we are ruining the Earth when we are as much a natural part of the Earth as any living thing?
Citation needed. Define ruining? Making more habitable is ruining? Sure, we move stuff around and make things, but everything we use is already here. How can you ruin the earth with the earth? That's ridiculous. Sure, we make a road. It helps us. Makes life better. You can argue that grasshoppers can no longer raise baby grasshoppers there because they prefer grass to asphalt, but its not ruining the earth. Its just making it better for us and worse for grasshoppers. Well lions make life better for lions and worse for wildebeest. Again, pecking order, food chain.

We're no different from an ant building an anthill or a beaver building a dam; we reshape the Earth to make our lives easier. To suggest that what we're doing isn't part of the natural order of things is to ascribe a mystical, supernatural quality to our existence, which is something a self-professed atheist would generally be wise not to do as it comes off as hypocritical.
Oh, we agree.

We haven't "trashed" the Earth. We've changed it, same as any other living thing. It will still be here after we're gone.
We agree again.

Baby Thork and Roundy have joined forces. Come at us, wretched leftists!  >o<

Arts & Entertainment / Re: Star Citizen
« on: February 23, 2020, 06:37:36 PM »
The Carrack is amazing. Totally worth the $350 I paid for it.
Your parents should apply for power of attorney.

Flat Earth Community / Re: Madman Mike...
« on: February 23, 2020, 02:34:22 PM »
This doesn't need a separate thread. We already have a Mad Mike thread open.

Flat Earth Community / Re: Death of Mike Hughes
« on: February 23, 2020, 01:52:54 PM »
The kind that covers public events every day of the week. One day the film crew is covering a marathon, the next a protest outside a council building, the next Mike Hughes. Why would they be responsible for H&S in this circumstance?
TV shows have a duty of care to the people who are on them. For example in the UK there was a very famous TV show where they got a guy to do a reverse bungee

It looked like this.

The article clearly says
Quote from:
“Mad” Mike Hughes, who hoped to prove the Earth was flat by going into space, died on Saturday near Barstow, California, after attempting to launch his steam-powered rocket for a new television series called Homemade Astronauts on the US Science Channel.
IE they were makign the show with him. Not just observing. They have a duty of care.

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