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Offline Baby Thork

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Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« on: May 18, 2018, 03:56:09 PM »
So I have been playing my first game in years and years. Seems it was a good choice. I really enjoyed it and having a half decent computer to play it on made it look awesome.

I had no idea what the game was about, knew nothing of the story lines and everything was brand new to me. 

My style of game play can be boiled down to two main traits. I'm hedonistic and I'm impatient. This turned out to be a very bad combo.

Hedonism meant I tried to sleep with everything that moved. I thought this gamble paid off but ended up getting tied to a bed and ended up with neither Triss or Yennifer.
Impatience meant I had no time for Ciri's crap. In fact after it became apparent she wasn't going to sleep with me and preferred some dumb Irish farm boy, I had little time for her and ... well she died because of it. Apparently if I'd had snowball fights with her and gone to see stupid graves with her etc she'd have lived according to the internet. We aren't related in the game. I didn't want to be her father. I wanted to be her daddy. She already had a father who wasn't very nice. I was hoping I was there to help her work out her daddy issues. It didn't work like that. Also, I probably have a disease from a succubus.  :(

I guess I suck at games. I thought killing monsters was the point. Ho-hum.
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Offline Rushy

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2018, 04:12:03 PM »
Considering it requires that you make, unanimously, ALL of the wrong decisions. Most people couldn't get her killed by just outright playing, but I'm really glad you lived down to expectations and made it happen.

Also considering how quickly you finished the game, I'm betting you skipped pretty much all of it. A completed playthrough of Witcher 3 should take about 70 hours. Unless you were playing the game like it was your full time job, I don't see how you properly enjoyed it between the time you got your new computer and now.

Go back and play the game correctly, Thork. It's not a murder and sex simulator. Play Shadow of War if you want the former, play some porn game for the latter.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 04:14:42 PM by Rushy »

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Offline Particle Person

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2018, 04:14:13 PM »
So I have been playing my first game in years and years. Seems it was a good choice. I really enjoyed it and having a half decent computer to play it on made it look awesome.

I had no idea what the game was about, knew nothing of the story lines and everything was brand new to me. 

My style of game play can be boiled down to two main traits. I'm hedonistic and I'm impatient. This turned out to be a very bad combo.

Hedonism meant I tried to sleep with everything that moved. I thought this gamble paid off but ended up getting tied to a bed and ended up with neither Triss or Yennifer.
Impatience meant I had no time for Ciri's crap. In fact after it became apparent she wasn't going to sleep with me and preferred some dumb Irish farm boy, I had little time for her and ... well she died because of it. Apparently if I'd had snowball fights with her and gone to see stupid graves with her etc she'd have lived according to the internet. We aren't related in the game. I didn't want to be her father. I wanted to be her daddy. She already had a father who wasn't very nice. I was hoping I was there to help her work out her daddy issues. It didn't work like that. Also, I probably have a disease from a succubus.  :(

I guess I suck at games. I thought killing monsters was the point. Ho-hum.

umm reported
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Offline Cain

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2018, 04:19:20 PM »
Why would you say that it contains spoilers for a game that came out 3 years ago? classic thork
You just made my list, buddy.  >:(
this world does not have room for another mind as intelligent as yours.

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Offline Baby Thork

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2018, 05:05:37 PM »
Why would you say that it contains spoilers for a game that came out 3 years ago? classic thork
Well it does have spoilers if like me you hadn't played it. ???


Considering it requires that you make, unanimously, ALL of the wrong decisions. Most people couldn't get her killed by just outright playing, but I'm really glad you lived down to expectations and made it happen.
Apparently there are 5 decisions to make and you need 3 of them to be the 'right' ones to give her enough of a reason to live. I treated her like shit and she died. Meh. I did trash the lab with her, so I got one of them right, but I was Thorked if I was going to visit some grave ... I wanted new armour at the time so did that instead. Oh, and when her dad offered me money for getting her home safe ... I took it. What was I supposed to do? Just say no thanks? That makes no sense. I took the booty. A little more of her died inside but I'm a witcher. Throughout the whole story everyone says witchers never ever work for free. Thems is the rules. Silly girl should have known that and not got bent out of shape about me wanting nice stuff from the shop.

Also considering how quickly you finished the game, I'm betting you skipped pretty much all of it. A completed playthrough of Witcher 3 should take about 70 hours. Unless you were playing the game like it was your full time job, I don't see how you properly enjoyed it between the time you got your new computer and now.
Actually I played a lot. I really enjoyed the game. Probably 4 hours a night. A lot on the weekend. I haven't finished yet ... I haven't even started the expansion packs, but I just finished the wild hunt (I can still go back and do the other quests ... loads still to do) but both endings were pretty unsatisfactory so I googled them today and found out I got the worst results you could hope for. Still, if the expansion packs have endings and a story of their own, I'm wiser to the consequences now and may play a little more shrewdly.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 05:08:25 PM by Baby Thork »
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Offline Cain

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2018, 05:20:17 PM »
Again, tomorrow would be its 3 year anniversary. It has passed the spoiler line.
You just made my list, buddy.  >:(
this world does not have room for another mind as intelligent as yours.

Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2018, 05:59:38 PM »
Considering it requires that you make, unanimously, ALL of the wrong decisions. Most people couldn't get her killed by just outright playing, but I'm really glad you lived down to expectations and made it happen.
Yeah I got her killed too. Thork, we're not that different afterall. Just two good ol' degenerates trying to make it through life.

You want to drink some 40's and harass people on the street later?
You don't think I'm going to post here sober, do you?  ???

I have embraced my Benny Franko side. I'm sleazy.

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Offline rooster

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #7 on: May 30, 2018, 10:20:14 PM »
Oh, just now seeing this but one of my favorite topics.

1. Doesn't surprise me you got the bad ending, Thork. I got the good one without even trying because I never even went back to the Emperor.
2. I'm deeply disturbed you wanted Geralt to have sex with Ciri, but again, I guess I'm not surprised.

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Offline Baby Thork

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2018, 11:32:42 AM »
Oh, just now seeing this but one of my favorite topics.

1. Doesn't surprise me you got the bad ending, Thork. I got the good one without even trying because I never even went back to the Emperor.
2. I'm deeply disturbed you wanted Geralt to have sex with Ciri, but again, I guess I'm not surprised.

Why are you surprised? They aren't related, and she's hot. She clearly has daddy issues with her real father being a bit of an asshat, and she can call me daddy. It would have been great.

I've been without internet all week. A bolt of lightning hit my house and fried the router. I didn't realise how loud thunder can be when you are in a building that gets hit. The whole house shook. Only damage was the internet though.  :-\ It smelt awful, the whole of upstairs stunk of burning circuit board.

The upshot is I have had lots of offline time and as I only own one game, I've finished Hearts of Stone (I chose to let Olgierd die and chose unlimited food - no regrets, he looked like David Beckham and so I just stood there and watched him die without a flicker of remorse.), I've done most of the bits I missed from the original game and I'm about half way through Blood and Wine, I think. I did manage to woo some student called Shani in this version, but she left me as well.  :( I tried really hard not to mess that one up, but she decided she'd rather go to front line of a raging war than be with me ... as put downs go, that's hard to beat.

I've had a few other small things that have annoyed me. I never got Geralt or Ciri in the Gwent decks. Looking on the internet I just didn't do all the quests in the order necessary so didn't get the opportunity. That's just a tough break I guess.

Also at no point have I managed to have sex with any elves. I like the ears. I haven't even seen an elf prostitute in the game.

Next year the developers are releasing a futuristic version called Cyberpunk 2077. The story telling is so good by this dev company, I'll probably buy it.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2018, 12:00:14 PM by Baby Thork »
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Offline honk

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2018, 03:27:41 PM »
She's his adopted daughter, you fucking weirdo! And the game makes it very, very clear what kind of relationship they have! This is really fucking creepy, even for you.

You know what, let's just talk about their upcoming game. It's gonna be great.
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Offline Rushy

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2018, 04:10:14 PM »
Thork literally believes that the only requirement for two people to bang is that they are not actually related to each other.

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Offline Baby Thork

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2018, 05:00:07 PM »
She's his adopted daughter, you fucking weirdo! And the game makes it very, very clear what kind of relationship they have! This is really fucking creepy, even for you.

It isn't against the law. Who are you to impose your twisted sense of morality upon me? If your step daughter grows up to be hot and she is a consenting adult ... you can bang her. In the UK you have to wait until she is 18 (instead of 16 ... but then its a green light. Curiously you aren't allowed to marry her but that wasn't a thing I wanted to do anyway). Why are you making up rules that don't exist? I think Ciri is probably the hottest woman in the game, I want to bang her. Its my game, I paid good money for it, I demand satisfaction! In grand theft auto I can run over prostitutes and open fire in busy public places. I don't see you condemning people for doing that in-game. In the witcher 3 I steal from every house I enter and just wander in anywhere that isn't locked, I chop people in half, I slaughter their livestock, I set fire to their cats to stop that awful hissing sound and harvest the cat meat, I necromance the dead, attack state garrisons, kill kings, ... and you're worried that same guy wouldn't bonk his hot step adult daughter given half the chance? Where do you think the expression 'daddy' comes from in sex role play? Why do people even use that word? Cos its wrong, and everybody like to do a little bit of wrong sometimes.

Thork literally believes that the only requirement for two people to bang is that they are not actually related to each other.
Hey, its taboo, but it isn't forbidden.

You know what, let's just talk about their upcoming game. It's gonna be great.
Prude. Ok, fine. I hope they have as good a script. The Witcher was based on a series of books though (like a Polish Lord of the rings). Not sure where they'll get their inspiration for cyberpunk 2077, but I have confidence in them. They did such a good job on the Witcher they must have a lot of very talented writers on the payroll.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2018, 05:02:12 PM by Baby Thork »
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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2018, 07:42:03 PM »
She's his adopted daughter, you fucking weirdo! And the game makes it very, very clear what kind of relationship they have! This is really fucking creepy, even for you.

You know what, let's just talk about their upcoming game. It's gonna be great.

Does cyberpunk 2077 have release date?
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Offline Baby Thork

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #13 on: June 02, 2018, 08:06:30 PM »
She's his adopted daughter, you fucking weirdo! And the game makes it very, very clear what kind of relationship they have! This is really fucking creepy, even for you.

You know what, let's just talk about their upcoming game. It's gonna be great.

Does cyberpunk 2077 have release date?
Early 2019. The Polish government gave CD Projekt Red a grant of $5million to ensure they make the release on time, so they are under the gun, else apparently they have to give it back. Shame Star Shitizen isn't under a similar edict. 
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Offline Crudblud

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #14 on: June 02, 2018, 08:16:53 PM »
Prude. Ok, fine. I hope they have as good a script. The Witcher was based on a series of books though (like a Polish Lord of the rings). Not sure where they'll get their inspiration for cyberpunk 2077, but I have confidence in them. They did such a good job on the Witcher they must have a lot of very talented writers on the payroll.
Well, the game is based on Cyberpunk 2020, so they have an established setting and lore to go on, but with the 50+ year gap they also have enough historical space to make it their own. They will probably also look to classic cyberpunk fiction writers like William Gibson and Philip K. Dick for inspiration.

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Offline junker

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #15 on: June 03, 2018, 02:14:28 AM »
Shame Star Shitizen isn't under a similar edict.

Scam shit has "crowdfunded" nearly $200MM. I don't think it is an apt comparison.


They will probably also look to classic cyberpunk fiction writers like William Gibson and Philip K. Dick for inspiration.

I really need to read some Gibson. His influence (also PKD (much more so)) is readily apparent in the (objectively) best video game of all time.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2018, 02:18:54 AM by junker »

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Offline Baby Thork

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #16 on: June 03, 2018, 04:21:13 PM »
Prude. Ok, fine. I hope they have as good a script. The Witcher was based on a series of books though (like a Polish Lord of the rings). Not sure where they'll get their inspiration for cyberpunk 2077, but I have confidence in them. They did such a good job on the Witcher they must have a lot of very talented writers on the payroll.
Well, the game is based on Cyberpunk 2020, so they have an established setting and lore to go on, but with the 50+ year gap they also have enough historical space to make it their own. They will probably also look to classic cyberpunk fiction writers like William Gibson and Philip K. Dick for inspiration.
I kind of wish they'd gone with a steampunk version instead. Set in some kind of dystopian Victorian era. The costumes would be epic, there would be all kinds of puzzles to solve regarding vast machines, crafting, blueprints, the fast travel could be ticket offices at train stations, there'd be urchins on the streets, people lighting gas lamps as it got dark, huge ornate clocks on the buildings, maybe an HG Wells inspired submarine and diving bells for the water quests ... futuristic RPGs / first person shooters have been done to death. I feel cyberpunk2077 will be more a cross between final fantasy and bioshock. I'd rather have a character with a nice set of crafted knuckle dusters and a one shot gun powder pistol as a last resort. Rapid fire lasers isn't really my bag. I'm thinking streets of London after dark, Jack the ripper, orphanages, debtors prisons, stunning wrought iron bridges, vast brick archways, a heavy smog of industrialisation setting the theme in major cities, cosplay freaks getting heavily into the game, goggles with magnification, night vision, heat vision etc to collect, robot extensions to your outfits to increase strength, automatons to defeat, rival inventors, muggers, henchmen, your own lab and factory. Meh, cyberpunk it is I guess.
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Offline honk

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #17 on: June 04, 2018, 01:41:22 PM »
You might like the Dishonored series, Thork.

I read in an interview that they're going to be keeping the class system from the tabletop game, and what's interesting about that is that the classes, listed here, are far more unique than anything I've ever seen in an RPG before. It makes me wonder how the main story is going to work, as I can't imagine, say, a rockerboy and a netrunner playing through the same set of quests/missions.
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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #18 on: June 04, 2018, 03:41:44 PM »
You might like the Dishonored series, Thork.

I read in an interview that they're going to be keeping the class system from the tabletop game, and what's interesting about that is that the classes, listed here, are far more unique than anything I've ever seen in an RPG before. It makes me wonder how the main story is going to work, as I can't imagine, say, a rockerboy and a netrunner playing through the same set of quests/missions.

You just have multiple solutions to each mission.  There are several missions in the shadowrun games that have this.  Some of the UGC have multiple missions where you can complete them without ever killing.
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Offline Crudblud

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Re: Witcher 3 - Contains spoilers
« Reply #19 on: June 04, 2018, 07:59:43 PM »
They will probably also look to classic cyberpunk fiction writers like William Gibson and Philip K. Dick for inspiration.

I really need to read some Gibson. His influence (also PKD (much more so)) is readily apparent in the (objectively) best video game of all time.

I picked up Neuromancer cheap last week, still haven't got any PKD though. His stuff is very rare to find second hand around here for some reason.