Saturday, 15 May, 1982
The Ahoy, Rotterdam
Band
Frank Zappa (guitar, vocals)
Ray White (guitar, vocals)
Steve Vai (guitar)
Tommy Mars (keyboards, vocals)
Bobby Martin (keyboards, sax, vocals)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Scott Thunes (bass)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
Set lists
All tracks authored by Frank Zappa, except where noted.
Zoot Allures
Sofa
RDNZL
Advance Romance
We're Turning Again
Alien Orifice
Harder Than Your Husband
Bamboozled By Love
Young And Monde
Tinsel Town Rebellion (q: Space Oddity (David Bowie))
Approximate (q: Stayin' Alive (Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb, Maurice Gibb))
Cosmik Debris
Sinister Footwear
Stevie's Spanking
Cocaine Decisions (q: Happy Birthday To You (go fuck yourselves))
Nig Biz
Disco Boy
Teenage Wind
Truck Driver Divorce
Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
No No Cherry (L. Caesar, J. Gray)
Strictly Genteel (q: Hawaiian Punch commercial)
Drowning Witch
Envelopes
Zomby Woof
Review
This is my favourite Zappa band of all time, and while this show comes quite early in the tour, it is nevertheless highly enjoyable. This concert features the only Dutch appearance of Steve Vai on guitar, as well as the début of Bobby Martin on vocals and the Thunes/Wackerman rhythm section, who would all continue touring with Zappa through the rest of the '80s. This tape is, sadly, not up to the same standard as the last couple of shows, but it's not bad either.
The tape cuts in just in the right place for the opening notes of Zoot Allures. Tonight's Zoot solo is, as it always was for this tour, fantastic. A lot of similarity to When No One Was No One on Guitar, but without the loops found on that track. It does feature a lot of the same playing around with low notes and a slide, which is (to Dutch audiences) new for a Zappa solo. Great solo number one for tonight.
"Welcome to The Ahoy, which is, perhaps, the dumbest name that I've ever heard for a concrete building. The name of the building may be dumb, but the acoustics are worse." That explains the sound on some of these tapes. Frank is in a good mood tonight, introducing the drummer as "the two-headed Chad Wackerman".
The first song following the band intros is Sofa, for the first time since it appeared as part of Divan back in the Flo & Eddie days. For my money, this is the best version of Sofa there ever was, performed as the closing track on You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore, vol. 1 (which is from Pistoia and Rome a couple of months later). After Sofa, we get our long-overdue RDNZL, ever since the anonymous taper back in 1973 failed to capture it.
This is the RDNZL arrangement from Stage, vol. 5, but of course, the solos from Frank and Tommy varied from night to night. Frank's solo here is great solo number two for the evening, being not yet as aggressive as the one from Palermo on Stage, but every bit as amazing. Tommy's solo, while usually not very noteworthy on this tour, manages to impress tonight as well, including some quotes from the RDNZL theme on his synth.
After 20 minutes, the first non-instrumental number of the night is Advance Romance, with Ray White showing us, as he usually does, how a song is meant to be sung. This is, once again, the arrangement from Stage, vol. 5. It may not surprise you to learn that this solo is great solo number three for tonight, with Frank showing us some blues that is simply out of this world.
We're Turning Again sounds the way it always does, which is to say, mostly as a link into the far more interesting Alien Orifice. Frank's solo here is good, of course, but I'd stop short of calling it a great solo. It's far too short and leads nowhere.
Next is the impeccable Husband/Bamboozled/Monde/Tinsel/Approximate/Debris '82 medley, containing three guitar solos, two from Frank and one from Steve. You'll excuse me if I elide over how awesome all these segues are for now and focus on the specifics of this show. Bamboozled By Love represents Bobby Martin's first ever lead vocal in the Netherlands, and boy does he kick ass. Frank's solo is, unfortunately, over a reggae vamp that completely ruins the flow of the song, and it's not a very interesting solo either.
Fortunately, Frank makes up for that with an incredible Young And Monde solo, bringing the total great solos for tonight up to four. This solo meanders between sorrowful melodies, unapologetic blues and random weirdness as though they were one and the same, and may be the best solo of the evening yet. During Tinsel Town Rebellion, Frank has to give the audience the obligatory '82 warning not to throw things on the stage. To make up for this, we get a nice "ground control to Grandma Tom" in the middle of the song.
As usual for 1982, Tinsel Town Rebellion doesn't actually finish, instead becoming Approximate after "substance is a bore", which then proceeds as on Stage, vol. 4. This leads into Cosmik Debris, complete with Steve Vai's first ever guitar solo in Rotterdam. This solo is played in typical Steve style, which gets old after a while, but as a first one this ain't bad.
Sinister Footwear follows, as perhaps Frank's best new composition of the '80s, and bringing us great solo number five for the evening. As usual for this tour, it is paired with Stevie's Spanking, which includes solos from Steve and Frank, culminating in some guitar duelling between the two. Steve's solo is better than expected, Frank's is on par (which is to say, fucking amazing), and the finale duel is otherworldly.
Of course, Stevie's Spanking segues into Cocaine Decisions, which is a great opportunity for a quick snooze before Nig Biz. Aside from the usual vocal wonders Ray works in Nig Biz, we have some solid blues solos from Ray, Tommy, Bobby and Frank. These solos aren't quite up to the same standard as on Stage, vol. 3—which is impressive, given that the band was choking on tear gas for the latter—but they're pretty good in their own right, especially Frank's effort, which is the best blues solo we've heard since 1974.
The segue into Disco Boy is a little odd, which is more than made up for by Scott yelling out "you call that music?" during the first few bars. The remainder of the song, and the Teenage Wind rendition that follows, are as uneventful as ever, but their redeeming value is that they lead into Truck Driver Divorce, which Frank transforms into the sixth great solo for tonight, and dare I say, the greatest yet. This is a solo that transcends description, merging so many different styles together at once that I'm not even going to attempt one. Listen to this solo.
The '82 arrangement of Broken Hearts For Assholes that closes the main set is something to behold. The chorus is done in a glorious swing style that sets this version apart from all others. We also get a "work the wall with grandma" mutation, which is a reference to the previous day's antics in Brussels. Sadly, it fails to distinguish itself enough from earlier versions, and the absence of Terry and Patrick really hurts this track, so it's a nice closer, but nothing more. And then, instead of "I knew you'd be surprised", Frank names each band member and ends the main set.
Frank counts in the first encore with no introduction whatsoever, and now we're into the '50s numbers that would so spice up most '80s encores. Tonight we only get No No Cherry, played at the usual '82 tempo, which is slower than on Stage, vol. 4 but every bit as delicious. This segues into Strictly Genteel, performed for the first time ever in the Netherlands, which is perhaps Zappa's most beautiful composition of all time. If you know this song, you know how glorious it sounds, and if you haven't, no description of mine could do it justice.
"We're gonna play a couple of songs from our new album", says Frank at the start of encore number two. These are Drowning Witch and Envelopes, eventually released on Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning Witch. Aside from the usual awesomeness in these tunes, Frank delivers not one, but two more terrific solos in Drowning Witch. I'm running out of descriptive power for these solos, but believe me that these are most excellent indeed. Like, holy shit, dude.
The third and final encore consists solely of Zomby Woof, which gives Bobby one last opportunity to sing his throat out and Frank one last opportunity to solo his fingers off. They both take it, although Frank's solo is not quite as terrific as the rest of tonight's solos. It's still enough to put any previous tour to shame, though. The last notes of Zomby signal the end of the concert, with no farewell from Frank. The perfect ending.
I had recalled this show as a low point of the 1982 tour. Be that as it may, this is a high point of the thread, which just goes to illustrate how incredible this tour is. Nearly every guitar solo in this concert is better than the best guitar solo in most others in this thread. That said, being as there are way better 1982 shows, you're probably better off seeking out one of those, unless you specifically want to hear a fantastic Dutch performance. Since I've reviewed this show before as part of my 1982 tour extravaganza, I'll post my previous review below for comparison. See you soon for the controversial 1984 tour.
Previous review (written 15 May, 2013)
Maybe I'm biased after last night's exceptional performance, but it just doesn't feel like Frank or the band is giving it their all tonight. We start off with a pretty good Zoot Allures before veering sharply off course into a series of mediocre performances.
Sofa feels out of place this early in the set, the segue into RDNZL is jarring, the solos in RDNZL and Advance Romance are passable at best, and We're Turning Again/Alien Orifice sounds dull tonight. Things seem to liven up a bit when we get into Harder Than Your Husband -- not often performed in '82, and all the more appreciated for that, and the band manages to keep things interesting through Bamboozled By Love and into Young and Monde.
Young and Monde's guitar solo is again passable, but nothing special. This takes us to Tinsel Town Rebellion, and this is the night that changes the song for the rest of the tour. After mutilating a quote from Bowie's "Space Oddity" ("ground control to grandma Tom"), Frank suddenly instructs the band to play Approximate all the way through, instead of simply as backing music for his monologue as previously. Tinsel Town Rebellion is left incomplete, but instead we're treated to an excellent Approximate (complete with "Stayin' Alive" quote), and a somewhat uneasy segue into Cosmik Debris as the band figures out if that's what Frank meant for them to play next.
Sinister Footwear II is never dull, but tonight's guitar solo is, as well as the solos in Stevie's Spanking. It sounds like Frank is idly fidgeting with his guitar strings while his attention is on something outside the window, and Steve Vai's energy just isn't enough to carry the tune by himself. Cocaine Biz is similarly sub-par, but once again, Truck Driver Divorce redeems the evening and the show with another incredible solo from Frank. It seems that with this vamp, he simply can do no wrong, no matter how the rest of the show is going.
To round things off, we get the first Broken Hearts Are For Assholes of '82. For this tour, the chorus has been re-arranged into a cheesy big band show tune sort of deal, and we feel as if we've been thrust headlong into a horrible 1930s musical. Other than that, it's mostly the same as on Sheik Yerbouti, though of course with some rearranged vocals, and of course tonight you're working the wall with grandma instead of Michael.
Frank has decided to experiment with encore set lists tonight, and while the flow doesn't really work, the performances aren't bad. No No Cherry is starting to sound more soulful, Strictly Genteel is as it always is, and we have the first really good Drowning Witch of the tour, though it was a terrible choice to perform it as an encore -- it fits much better around the middle of the set list.
Zomby Woof is a fairly average performance tonight, but is always a nice way to round off a concert.
This show isn't a bad listen, but there are more boring bits than your average '82 concert. Don't get this unless you already have a number of '82 tapes and are on the lookout for more.