Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #40 on: December 21, 2017, 05:06:23 PM »
something they are unlikely to achieve in the real world due to its proclivity for social skills and facial symmetry.       
>:(

I'm not an ugly man, Jura.

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Offline Jura-Glenlivet

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #41 on: December 21, 2017, 09:29:34 PM »

Within the confines of this rant you have to be, the words came unbidden as I channeled my inner bitch (the child, having got right on my tits).  Roll with it.

Outside of here I am willing to grant you all the status of Adonis and promise to go for Jedi next time.
Just to be clear, you are all terrific, but everything you say is exactly what a moron would say.

Where there is evidence, no one speaks of 'faith'. We do not speak of faith that two and two are four or that the earth is round. We only speak of faith when we wish to substitute emotion for evidence. -Bertrand Russell.

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Offline junker

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #42 on: December 21, 2017, 09:56:46 PM »
To say that the questionnaire is trying to pigeon-hole FE’ers as stupid when the range of options Has three degree levels and an option to add whatever else you like is disingenuous, rather it smacks of Thork thinking this is what the survey will reveal, against I might add superficial evidence to the contrary. Those of us who have any history here will be fully aware of the prodigious brain power and educational accomplishments of Pete/sexpest, as at one time there was barely a post where he didn’t mention it. Parsifal (our leader) has a back to school thread that lists his proposed schedule, which so impressed me, as I had no better idea after reading it, what he was to study than before. Thork himself is no shrinking violet in enlightening us as to his achievements since his return either, so why the negativity?

I deduce your honour, that this site is a sham! I furthermore propose, that when this place was conceived, it was so, as an ironical send up of what was at that time an extreme marginal belief, that it has burgeoned since to include a proportion of the general population that is almost measurable, has not only come as a surprise to its creators but presented them with a dilemma. That being, if they turn their backs on the current crop of devotees, they abandon not only their satirical high ground, where they can look down on both sides of the dispute and say, “we’ve had you all” but also risk losing a community they are integral too and thrive in, something they are unlikely to achieve in the real world due to its proclivity for social skills and facial symmetry.
 
Hence, Thork’s denouncement of the education question makes sense, as it is apparent that those who do truly believe have to band together in large numbers to form an idiot, should they manage to complete the survey it would be glaringly obvious that those above, are leaders of a crusade of fools, fatally undermining the pseudo-scientific foundations of the wiki and everything that Tom says.         

Let's keep the ramblings in the proper fora. Split/merged.
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Offline Jura-Glenlivet

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #43 on: December 21, 2017, 10:51:04 PM »

Damn it Junker! Ramblings? I thought I had “concise” nailed there.
Just to be clear, you are all terrific, but everything you say is exactly what a moron would say.

Where there is evidence, no one speaks of 'faith'. We do not speak of faith that two and two are four or that the earth is round. We only speak of faith when we wish to substitute emotion for evidence. -Bertrand Russell.

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Offline Dither

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #44 on: December 22, 2017, 11:11:40 PM »
Merry Christmas Jura, Junker, Pete, Tom, Rama and everyone else :)

Love the holiday snaps Jura, my wife wants an Olympus now.
With the way the worlds heading, I'd like to have a holiday in a place like that and go MIA.
The Wildlfe Officer's can chase me round the island, it will relieve the boredom.

Anyway, Have a great Chrissy with lots of food and ale.  :)   (And no mayo)
« Last Edit: December 22, 2017, 11:23:31 PM by Dither »
A lie will make it around the world before the truth has time to put on its shoes.

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Offline Jura-Glenlivet

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #45 on: February 16, 2018, 04:23:30 PM »
So Murica is broken, its children have realised the futility of existence under the guidance of grown-ups, who from the comfort of their armoured bariatric buggies, saw fit to swap a lean erudite capable leader for an orange amphibian who had realised the path to godhood was as easy as letting dumb people vent their hatred for the world, for well, changing.
So, they take their parents guns to school and swap a life of perceived despair for a spike in fakebook traffic, in droves.

Now before ya’ll rise out of your corn syrup filled baths to point out the obvious fallacies and downright lack of empathy in the above, I was being a tit for a purpose, as my sympathies lie to the left it does echo the gut reactions I felt listening to responses from certain parties, to the recent school killings, especially those that didn’t fit into my view of the world, and here lies a problem.

These weekly (daily, hourly – pick according to how far in the future you are reading this) atrocities are invariably attended by the venality of the media willing to encourage and interview just about anyone to bump their ratings so adding to the circus.
The roots and reasons for the actions of the perpetrators range, according to your bias, and include guns/not enough guns, liberals, homosexuality/gods wrath, Nazi’s, atheism, video games, heavy metal, the internet and girls who won’t fuck nerds, so spanning the gamut of available experts/crazies.

Something needs to be done, is it a case of restrictive gun laws and a redress of balance between the rich and the poor or arm the teachers/janitors/kids and reinstate classroom prayer. When I hear some of the remarks by the gun apologists, I want to shoot them in the face, thus proving that though I would undoubtedly pass any psychological test you could throw at me, I shouldn’t be allowed a gun. I would argue that (like joining the police) as soon as you express the wish you should be barred, especially AR15’s which seems to be the weapon of choice for the cowardly self-promoting suicide shooter.

Reconciliation of the opposing views with respect of hammering out a credible response is not going to fucking happen..soo..get packing, either in the sense of an arsenal or do a Dave and head off to a sane country.

Or, third option, split the country along the meme line, pacific states, north-eastern and great lakes states fusing with the Canucks as the United States of Canada, thereby joining a country that can handle guns without going batshit. The rest becomes Jesusland, Cornacopia or Dumbfuckistan, and walls itself off to await the rapture clutching its guns/cousins.         
« Last Edit: February 16, 2018, 04:55:18 PM by Jura-Glenlivet »
Just to be clear, you are all terrific, but everything you say is exactly what a moron would say.

Where there is evidence, no one speaks of 'faith'. We do not speak of faith that two and two are four or that the earth is round. We only speak of faith when we wish to substitute emotion for evidence. -Bertrand Russell.

Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #46 on: February 16, 2018, 05:18:06 PM »
Murica has never not been broken. It is still the wild west and a man can still pull out a gun in a bar and shoot you, because he doesn't like your boots. Yeehaw!

The British tried to give you all some manners, but you chose freedom instead. Enjoy your freedom.

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Offline TheLordBarst

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #47 on: February 16, 2018, 05:36:10 PM »
Ouch, my national pride. I might never recover
Occam's Razor, more people should try slitting their wrists with it.

I think he looks like a chubby mole. The thought of him slapping his cold, clammy gut on you, his hairy back matted with sweat as he shoves his flaccid rodent like genitalia between your legs whilst squinting and huffing like an asthmatic pig

Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #48 on: February 16, 2018, 10:49:31 PM »

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Offline Jura-Glenlivet

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #49 on: April 11, 2018, 02:16:56 PM »

Not only have I neglected this thread (and indeed FES in general) but I left it with Thork in colonial mode waving his twatting flag, sorry, but Molette should have stepped up with her musket and shot him in the face, it’s the American way and would have been fitting.

So, spring is here in merry England, actually it isn’t, the dates say it is, there is green in the hedgerows, the dawn chorus is growing day on day and my Camellias are blooming but spring is not here. It has rained since November, Leicestershire is a shallow lake, my disposition is bleak, and I would burn god and kill your children for some sun.
 
Before any of you lightweight desk jockeys decide now is the time to capitalise on Jura’s mood, or point out that Rain defines the UK, I would like you to consider a few things; I am outside a lot, I have big dogs that need big walks and I cycle to work, consequently I have lots of wet weather gear and the elements are not usually a problem, but my soul is sodden now and I need respite, it will come soon and I shall be reborn, in the meantime avoid me and remember the dogs.

On the subject of rebirth, Easter has passed but I would like to mention a curious incident pertaining. My partner, bless her forbearance, was walking past one of the churches of our community when she was accosted politely by a man with a bag lurking in its portico, he gave her a box as a present and requested only that she should read the message contained and reflect on its meaning. The gift was an Easter egg, the communication therein, “The true meaning of Easter” a badly drawn cartoon of the crucifixion and subsequent resurrection. She offered it to me with a smile that not only conveyed her beauty but also her endearing inner cruelty.

I know Christianity has successfully wiped its collective memory of all the pagan roots of its high days but to blithely pass out the true meaning of Easter pamphlets is just abusing the privilege to be stupid. To her credit she vetoed my plan to go and smash the egg on the aforementioned mans forehead whilst screaming “look up the fucking origin of the word Easter shit-for-brains” lest I break the conditions of my injunction, and she listened with admirable tolerance to me ranting on about how could they reconcile eggs and bunnies with the zombie Jesus story without question (some nonsense about the egg representing the empty tomb), what can I say, she keeps me sane.

Anyway, spring is here, rebirth of the year with eggs being laid and bunnies being born, I just wish it would stop fucking raining.       
Just to be clear, you are all terrific, but everything you say is exactly what a moron would say.

Where there is evidence, no one speaks of 'faith'. We do not speak of faith that two and two are four or that the earth is round. We only speak of faith when we wish to substitute emotion for evidence. -Bertrand Russell.

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Offline junker

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #50 on: April 11, 2018, 03:54:36 PM »
and I cycle to work     

I hope to start doing this soon. Although where I will be living has about 80% sunny days, so I can't relate to your misery.

Please make sure to check out these resources to ensure that your time at tfes.org is enjoyable and productive.

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Offline Jura-Glenlivet

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #51 on: April 11, 2018, 08:22:17 PM »


An admirable intention, make me one promise, do not wear Lycra. Nobody who drives a car to work wears racing leathers and a helmet, so what on earth possesses cyclists to dress like Lance Armstrong? There are only two kinds of people that can in anyway pull this off without looking stupid, they are athletes and nubiles. 
Just to be clear, you are all terrific, but everything you say is exactly what a moron would say.

Where there is evidence, no one speaks of 'faith'. We do not speak of faith that two and two are four or that the earth is round. We only speak of faith when we wish to substitute emotion for evidence. -Bertrand Russell.

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Offline Jura-Glenlivet

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #52 on: May 15, 2018, 09:59:44 PM »
Well I am happy to report that the sun has arrived in style, I am wearing shorts much to the amusement of my better half, who maintains that my legs look like threads hanging from my undergarments. If you ever need to confirm the identity of an Englishman, get them to drop their trousers if they look like they're carved from lard sprinkled with cat hair, then God save the queen.

Anyway, I realise that you are all dying to know more about Leicestershire, well it's not that big a deal, we're kind of on the way to other places, so no one stops here much.

We are where the land rises from the coasts and fenlands of East-Anglia and Lincolnshire, so we have an affinity born from holidaying there by dint of proximity.
However, should those areas be inundated by climate change seas, we will happily remember other bonds, draw a line across the high ground between Tilton and Harborough and cast the evacuees back into the flood.

Leicester itself is one of Britain's oldest cities, the Romans settled on the site of former settlements due to its centrality, a stopover (again, see) for troops coming from Colchester and the south heading for Chester and the north. Do not expect however the city to show much of this, industrialisation and the brutalist building regime from the 50's - 70's put paid to that, shit, we built a car-park over the grave of Richard III.

Two of the most famous people to hail from Leicester were Joseph Merrick (AKA the Elephant man) and Daniel Lambert a gaoler/bear wrestler who grew to 50 stone (320kg), the US reader will not be impressed (yo mamma's fatter) but for the late 1700's that was big. So, Leicester had the fattest and ugliest people in the realm, if you visit the clubs of this fair city of a weekend you will see the genes still endure.
Fortunately, the people of the shire are cut from a different cloth, sylph like with a radiant beauty.

Its not all bad, we have gentle rolling hills, cute villages and cheese, Stilton cheese, blue mouldy and just gorgeous. Others may wax lyrical about the Melton Pork-pie, but it's just offal with a crust, avoid.
Other people of note are David Attenborough and;

Steam the founder of the sport Extreme ironing.


« Last Edit: May 16, 2018, 07:27:22 AM by Jura-Glenlivet »
Just to be clear, you are all terrific, but everything you say is exactly what a moron would say.

Where there is evidence, no one speaks of 'faith'. We do not speak of faith that two and two are four or that the earth is round. We only speak of faith when we wish to substitute emotion for evidence. -Bertrand Russell.

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Offline Boots

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Re: Soliloquies
« Reply #53 on: May 16, 2018, 01:35:05 AM »
Well I am happy to report that the sun has arrived in style, I am wearing shorts much to the amusement of my better half, who maintains that my legs look like threads hanging from my undergarments.
TMI LOL
Where the senses fail us, reason must step in. - Galileo Galilei