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Topics - Jura-Glenlivet

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Philosophy, Religion & Society / Soliloquies
« on: July 18, 2017, 09:53:44 PM »

In response to a recent argument between Rushy and various members of the sanity squad, it became apparent that there is a disconnect between what many Americans see as the rest of the world's circumstances, and how that world sees itself. This skewed world view only washes up rarely in news stories here when the hyperbole reaches truly hysterical levels, as when a "Fox expert on terrorism" said Birmingham was a Muslim city where non-Muslims just don't go. (

So, to counter the impression that as you close your doors to foreigners, you leave behind Europe awash with sharia police, the few remaining whites, living in ivory towers wreathed in opium smoke, wishing we were the 51st state, I would like to present a series of articles on the UK and this continent to give, I hope a balanced view of what Europe was and is like.

Let's start with the basics. Where are we?
The UK is a collection of rain drenched rocks separated from the rest of Europe by the blessed moat (the English Channel), dug by Joseph of Arimathea at the behest of God when he (Jo') came to bury the Holy Grail here, and designed to keep the filthy French (his words) from sullying our shores (this failed, and Gods betrayal indirectly led to the spread of Protestantism and the formation of Hogwarts).

Europe, you will find by swimming straight out from New England, should take you a day or two, but is plainly visible on a clear calm day with an appropriately big telescope (In your dreams Tom).

Racially we are mongrels, the original Pict's were an early Celtic race who were supplanted by the Britons (more Celts) who confined them to a reservation now called Scotland where they thrive amongst the heather by making whiskey whilst wearing skirts. For a better understanding of these Picts I recommend the film Trainspotting and not the massive load of bollocks that is Braveheart.
Britain at this time was not united, the Celts (picts included) did a bit of farming, dragged big rocks about to make circles with, built hill forts, but mostly what they liked to do was fight, preferably naked covered in blue paint or from the back of a chariot, naked and blue.
The tribe where I now live were called the Coritani, we fought the Brigantes (bastards) to the north, the Cornovii to the west the Dobunni (wimps) to the south and the Iceni to the east. This fighting is now ritualised to football or bike gangs, but can erupt at any gathering where alcohol is consumed.

I will take a break before I carry on as it is late and I have to have a shower as my partner hates me getting blue on the duvet. Next time the Romans (bastards). 

Arts & Entertainment / LEICESTER CITY
« on: May 02, 2016, 09:32:57 PM »

132 years after it's formation Leicester City, a team of rejects from other clubs took on the multi-million pound super league ( yes Junker you know) and become premier league champions with two matches to play. The greatest upset in football history, 5,000/1 at the start of the season, manager Claudio Ranieri, favourite to be the first manager to be sacked this season, get in!

Going to get drunk.

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