EUROVISION 2016 WITH XTRA THORK!

Thork · « **on:** May 14, 2016, 01:55:21 PM »

Its that time of the year again. At 8pm tonight (GMT) Eurovision kicks off! Countdown clock here

26 nations will come together and battle it out in the final for European supremacy. If anyone was in any doubt that maps of earth are hoaxed, Australia it seems is in Europe and will be competing in the final with a song called Sound of Silence.

There will be live flat earth commentary of this most important of events, right here live in this thread. You are welcome to join, I'll be getting progressively drunk until you can't read my posts anymore. The event is streamed and you will be able to sing along and pass your judgement. WATCH LIVE

George · « **Reply #1 on:** May 14, 2016, 01:59:03 PM »

I like these threads. They show a very nice, positive side to you.

xasop · « **Reply #2 on:** May 14, 2016, 02:01:04 PM »

The Netherlands hasn't won since 1975. This could be their first in 40 years.

Thork · « **Reply #3 on:** May 14, 2016, 02:05:01 PM »

Quote from: George on May 14, 2016, 01:59:03 PM

I like these threads. They show a very nice, positive side to you.

I like watching homosexuals butchering badly written songs whilst prancing around in lycra and glitter.

Anyhoo, I've downloaded all the flags, I have the running order, I have the videos from the semi-finals in case anyone can't stream live because they live in a fascist state that prohibits them from watching world class talent shows such as China or Florida, and I have a 12 pack of beer that is going to help me get through the evening.

Quote from: Parsifal on May 14, 2016, 02:01:04 PM

The Netherlands hasn't won since 1975. This could be their first in 40 years.

Australia are in it this year dickface. You don't need to support a European nation. You can root for your brethern.

I'm so excited ... squeeeeee!

xasop · « **Reply #4 on:** May 14, 2016, 02:07:54 PM »

Quote from: Dr David Thork on May 14, 2016, 02:05:01 PM

Australia are in it this year dickface. You don't need to support a European nation. You can root for your brethern.

Why would I want to support Australia in anything?

Thork · « **Reply #5 on:** May 14, 2016, 02:11:16 PM »

What is the point of putting Australia in our song contest if the Australians are going to go and support the Netherlands? Also, your song is better than the Dutch offering.

http://www.oddschecker.com/tv/eurovision/winner

Australia are joint favourites with Russia to win it! That's how much Europeans hate each other right now. We'll vote someone outside of Europe as champion of Europe, just to spite every other b*st*rd in Europe.

beardo · « **Reply #6 on:** May 14, 2016, 02:41:29 PM »

What is the point of this whole thing?

Thork · « **Reply #7 on:** May 14, 2016, 02:45:19 PM »

Quote from: beardo on May 14, 2016, 02:41:29 PM

What is the point of this whole thing?

The singing is largely irrelevant. The voting after has no bearing on that. It is a political acid test to see which nations are friends with who, and which nations are the most unpopular. Its also an excuse for me to get blind drunk enough to watch transsexuals gyrating, knowing I've had too much to get sexually aroused.

Thork · « **Reply #8 on:** May 14, 2016, 06:32:34 PM »

We're about half an hour away, get your drinks ready, download the little chrome extension thing to watch the stream and you should be good to go.

Thork · « **Reply #9 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:01:29 PM »

And we're off ...

Got my beer, got my flags ready ...

Thork · « **Reply #10 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:03:07 PM »

Yep, its weird already ...

Thork · « **Reply #11 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:05:52 PM »

biggest cheer of the night so far for Australia as they are introduced. We'll be into the acts soon, but we have a bit of an intro and some 'light comedy' to get through first.

Thork · « **Reply #12 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:12:55 PM »

here we go....

Thork · « **Reply #13 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:12:59 PM »

Nation: Belgium
Singer: Laura Tesoro
Song: What's the Pressure
Bookmaker odds: 100/1

Dr Thork's Verdict:
First up this evening is Laura from Belgium. She's got the best draw of the night, number 1. She can go hit the bar and enjoy the rest of the show like us after she's done. This peppy little ginger reminds me of a young Bonnie Langford. She's cute enough but doesn't get her flumps out. Without supporting norks, the song is average and won't stand up on its own. Belgium can always rely on a few points from France. They might get a few sympathy points because of the bombings recently, but I predict mid-table obscurity.

*You can watch the show live here

Thork · « **Reply #14 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:16:54 PM »

Nation: Czech Republic
Singer: Gabriela Gunčíková
Song: I stand
Bookmaker odds: 300/1

Dr Thork's Verdict:
Eurovision keeping the euro-totty coming and we have Gabriela from the Czech Republic. Good luck pronouncing her surname. I actually really like this tune but she is a rank outsider. She's probably the wrong side of 25 to do well at eurovision, shallow creatures that us Europeans are. Whilst I've always had a thing for Czech girls, she's going to struggle for votes. Serbia, Croatia and Poland will likely chip in, after that, she's on her own.

*You can watch the show live here

Thork · « **Reply #15 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:17:36 PM »

you know, you are all ok to comment too

Thork · « **Reply #16 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:20:27 PM »

I do like that one.

Thork · « **Reply #17 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:20:40 PM »

Nation: Netherlands
Singer: Douwe Bob
Song: Slow Down
Bookmaker odds: 80/1

Dr Thork's Verdict:
First act for the ladies, and Parsifal's adopted nation Netherlands, have sent Douwe. The squeaky-faced Harry Styles wannabe strums his guitar and that's about it. He doesn't dance, he doesn't dress outrageously and despite his 80/1 billing from the bookmakers, I find this song really irritating. Worst one so far by a country mile for me, but France and Germany will stuff their ballot full of Dutch votes.

*You can watch the show live here

Thork · « **Reply #18 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:24:28 PM »

Nation: Azerbaijan
Singer: Samra
Song: Miracle
Bookmaker odds: 225/1

Dr Thork's Verdict:
I'm not entirely sure that Azerbaijan can claim to be in Europe, so for me a technical disqualification, but the 2011 winners are back with Samara. This girl can hold a tune but sings through her nose a bit. I actually like it though and think 225/1 is harsh. Russia will throw some points at them. Is it me or is Eurovision toned down this year? No one seems to be dressed like a lunatic thus far. $:-\$

*You can watch the show live here

Thork · « **Reply #19 on:** May 14, 2016, 07:27:33 PM »

Well, I'm enjoying Miss Azerbaijan.