Let me walk you through this;
The analogy of how long we have been around (the 4 or so seconds) was in relation to the age of the earth, if you extrapolate that to the universe, and then state that a god put us here for such a fleeting moment (seeing as how quickly, in that time we have destroyed Eden and accordingly are liable to last), for a reason(?). Then that is something I will call bollocks on all day.
The personal hell bit;
Your inability to comprehend that an atheist can exist without killing themselves or being morbidly depressed, is just that, your failure.
Personally, I’m having a great time and intend to do so until such time as I cease to exist, most likely for the rest of eternity, c`est la vie. It certainly doesn’t stop me valuing people or wanting the very best for my children and the earth.
Atheism isn’t meant to “make me happy” or “give me self-worth”, it’s a position I take from the world around me.
My self-worth and genuine happiness, starts and ends with me. I don’t have to manufacture “a reason to bother”, it’s just there, blindingly evident.
You accuse me of rather being worthless than wrong, whilst earlier admitting you’d rather be happy than right, well I see myself as happy and right, you take your pick.
Your philosophy seems to be built on having to compromise truth in favour of finding a meaning and building your happiness on that, to paraphrase you, The regressive, ladies and gentlemen.