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Messages - spanner34.5

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1
Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Who created god?
« on: July 24, 2019, 08:57:44 AM »
A lot of children have an invisible friend, most grow out of it. Some retain their friend, it develops into god.

3
Science & Alternative Science / Re: In-compressible fluids
« on: August 24, 2018, 08:10:03 AM »
Gases are fluids, I know of no incompressible gases.

4
Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Trump
« on: August 23, 2018, 11:34:24 AM »

5
Never work, how do the pilots see where they are going?

6
Flat Earth Theory / Re: Digging
« on: March 23, 2018, 12:05:59 PM »
The best try so far got over 7.5 miles. They were unsuccessful

7
Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: 2016 US Presidential Race
« on: October 28, 2016, 12:30:01 PM »
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Theresa May, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season

God Save the Queen!

PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!


8
Flat Earth Theory / Re: next eclipse on March 20th 2015
« on: March 20, 2015, 09:33:02 AM »
It's getting dark.....we are doomed.

10
Arts & Entertainment / Re: Now Playing
« on: December 23, 2014, 11:38:36 AM »
Went to see this gent a lot of years ago................ R.I.P. Joe


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Arts & Entertainment / Re: Official Sports Thread
« on: October 27, 2014, 04:02:48 PM »
Liverpool only drew at home to Hull City.

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Arts & Entertainment / Re: Official Sports Thread
« on: October 20, 2014, 02:11:38 PM »
Arsenal only drew at home to Hull City

13
Arts & Entertainment / Re: Now Playing
« on: October 16, 2014, 09:41:59 AM »

14
Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Ask a Jew anything.
« on: October 14, 2014, 02:46:05 PM »
So if I'm understanding you right, you don't care about specifics just the general idea.

I guess that's required then isn't it?  I mean, if you look too hard you'll see flaws so the best solution is to not look very hard at all.

And by not caring, you acknowledge my argument as being valid.  (you did the same to spanner) so thanks for that.  I'm happy to know that your "facts" have as much basis in reality as Unicorns.

I'm actually debating if I should keep going or not.  On one hand, I find it fun to constantly poke holes in all of your points and "facts", resulting in you having to say "I don't know and don't care".  On the other hand, it's not fun trying to argue with someone who has no free will on the subject.  It's like arguing with a book really.  No matter how wrong the book is, it'll never change it's text.  As I said, God himself could not change your mind.  Which you have ignored so I assume you agree.  (Would that be irony?)
I suggest you let the child molesting bigot rant away by himself. Ignore the twat.

15
Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Ask a Jew anything.
« on: October 07, 2014, 11:18:06 AM »
QUOTE: "Anyone promoting genital mutilation of children, male or female, should be banned forever. Consenting adults should be allowed to mutilate themselves, if they wish. Subjecting minors is just plain wrong!"

 Ok. Let's deal with this rude and immature comment first, shall we (NOTE TO CENSORS: Not an insult to the person who made the remarks, but rather a commentary on the remarks themselves; there is a difference)?

Point One: 1. I am sure that if you looked up the word "bris" in a Hebrew dictionary, you would get a different definition. Point Two: 2. Male circumcision is practiced by non-Jews often in the USA as a health measure to aid in the cleaning of the penis. It causes very little or no pain, and in no way damages the penis. FGM, on the other hand, serves no valid purposes, is not backed by ANY religious practices whatsoever, and causes permanent and lasting harm to the female genitalia, aside from being horrifically painful. Conclusion: My advice, Spanner, would be to grow up, and cease to be an anti-Semitic, uninformed child, and begin to act like an adult (NOTE TO CENSORS: Also not an insult, but rather, a fair observation on the maturity or lack thereof of a person). That would benefit us all.
An interesting rant. I have never posted anything anti-semitic and never will.

I will react no more to someone whose opinion I despise.

16
Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Ask a Jew anything.
« on: October 02, 2014, 01:14:54 PM »
Male circumcision is not mutilation and never has been. It is widely done in the the USA by non-Jews simply as a health measure, to aid in the cleaning of the penis.

There has never been any practice of female cutting of any sort by Jews.

On a male, the pain, if any, is very brief.
It appears that your definition of mutilation disagrees with mine.



It also appears that your definition of mutilation disagrees with dictionaries.
QUOTE
Some ethnic groups practice ritual mutilation, e.g. circumcision, scarification, burning, flagellation, tattooing, or wheeling, as part of a rite of passage. In some cases, the term may apply to treatment of dead bodies, such as soldiers mutilated after they have been killed by an enemy.
Anyone promoting genital mutilation of children, male or female, should be banned forever.

Consenting adults should be allowed to mutilate themselves, if they wish. Subjecting minors is just plain wrong!

17
Arts & Entertainment / Re: Now Playing
« on: September 25, 2014, 03:23:10 PM »
I saw this gent play a couple of times. He was quite good.



It's only blues......

18
Arts & Entertainment / Re: Now Playing
« on: September 24, 2014, 10:20:02 AM »



19
Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Ask a Jew anything.
« on: September 10, 2014, 01:52:29 PM »
Or, myself and the dictionary could be anti mutilation of children.

It is time that people of any religion admitted that their religion is not perfect.

20
Philosophy, Religion & Society / Re: Ask a Jew anything.
« on: September 10, 2014, 01:31:22 PM »
Male circumcision is not mutilation and never has been. It is widely done in the the USA by non-Jews simply as a health measure, to aid in the cleaning of the penis.

There has never been any practice of female cutting of any sort by Jews.

On a male, the pain, if any, is very brief.
It appears that your definition of mutilation disagrees with mine.

It also appears that your definition of mutilation disagrees with dictionaries.
QUOTE
Some ethnic groups practice ritual mutilation, e.g. circumcision, scarification, burning, flagellation, tattooing, or wheeling, as part of a rite of passage. In some cases, the term may apply to treatment of dead bodies, such as soldiers mutilated after they have been killed by an enemy.

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