AFC Seeds:
1. Denver Broncos
2. New England Patriots
3. Indianapolis Colts
4. Cincinnati Bengals
5. Kansas City Chiefs
6. San Diego Chargers
NFC Seeds:
1. Seattle Seahawks
2. Carolina Panthers
3. Philadelphia
4. Green Bay
5. San Francisco (FTW!)
6. New Orleans Saints
Highlights of Week 17: A possibly intoxicated Franklin telling everyone how much he fucking hates the Packers and how pissed he was that they made the playoffs.
Seriously, fuck the Packers. And fuck the Lions too, for failing to win such a fucking easy division. And while we're at it, Fuck the Bears too.
But, as for my playoff predictions:
Saturday, Jan. 4
4:35 p.m. ET --
Kansas City Chiefs at Indianapolis Colts (NBC)
This is an interesting game, because the Chiefs strike me as a team built to win the Superbowl. A pass-rushing defense, a good running game, and a QB that doesn't fuck up. However, the Colts and their neckbeard savior Andrew Luck have shown they can beat any team in the NFL, and lose to any team in the NFL. Ultimately, without the stability that is Wayne, I think they'll struggle to make plays against the Chiefs scary D.
8:10 p.m. ET --
New Orleans Saints at Philadelphia Eagles (NBC)
Brees and Sean Payton have been in the playoffs before, and I think their experience will give them the edge over Foles and Chip Kelly. It'll be a lot closer than most people expect, because the Saints have looked like shit on the road in the final stretch of the season (they lost to the Rams, for fucks sake)
1:05 p.m. ET --
San Diego Chargers at Cincinnati Bengals (CBS)
Maybe I just like the narrative of the Bengals being one-and-done every year, or maybe I believe that Rivers is a very, very good QB that just needs his defense to keep the other team down. Regardless, I'm feeling the Charger's could surprise a lot of people if their defense can get hot enough to let their offense win games.
4:40 p.m. ET --
San Francisco 49ers at Green Bay Packers (FOX)
Fuck the Packers. Harbaugh dusts off the read-option playbook, and Kaep runs for 300 yards while Gore runs for 500. Aaron Rodgers throws 19 picks to Kaep's 21 TDs. San Francisco wins this blow-out, 289-2, as the 49'ers give a mercy safety to end the game.